[Connor crumples over that. Sean really believes that he sees him as expendable, like himself. That he'd let Sean be hurt for the endgame. For his mission.
That might have been true, once upon a time. But now, he just turns over the rambling messages in his mind and really wonders. Would he let it happen? Would he have sacrificed Sean in the interest of his investigation?
He really doesn't know. And not knowing is scary.]
I can see where you're getting the idea that I'd treat you like me but I dont know about that You have more to lose than i do You have people that carw about you I'm replaceable I don't think you are I don't think i would have been able to justify getting you killed To myself or your ma or anyone else No, i don't owe you anything, and i get the feeling that eben if i did, you wouldn't be all that inclined to collect Bc you're a good guy lik that I mean look what ypu did You helped makr it possible to put away a lot of bad men I want you to be able to live in a world made a little bit kinder by the end of all this
[He'll blame the sudden annoying emotional break on the drugs. He doesn't cry. He doesn't regret things. He doesn't get torn up over statistical outcomes or beaten odds. But here he is, trying to keep himself from falling apart as he remembers Sean crying on the sidewalk, and making him promise that if he died, Connor would tell his mom what happened.
He can't help the slightly watery smile over that afterthought.]
no subject
That might have been true, once upon a time. But now, he just turns over the rambling messages in his mind and really wonders. Would he let it happen? Would he have sacrificed Sean in the interest of his investigation?
He really doesn't know. And not knowing is scary.]
I can see where you're getting the idea that I'd treat you like me but
I dont know about that
You have more to lose than i do
You have people that carw about you
I'm replaceable
I don't think you are
I don't think i would have been able to justify getting you killed
To myself or your ma or anyone else
No, i don't owe you anything, and i get the feeling that eben if i did, you wouldn't be all that inclined to collect
Bc you're a good guy lik that
I mean look what ypu did
You helped makr it possible to put away a lot of bad men
I want you to be able to live in a world made a little bit kinder by the end of all this
[He'll blame the sudden annoying emotional break on the drugs. He doesn't cry. He doesn't regret things. He doesn't get torn up over statistical outcomes or beaten odds. But here he is, trying to keep himself from falling apart as he remembers Sean crying on the sidewalk, and making him promise that if he died, Connor would tell his mom what happened.
He can't help the slightly watery smile over that afterthought.]
should i be paranoid you were gossiping about me?