[Connor is still and silent as he lets Sean talk, just listening, hand resting under his, though as Sean's volume drops off and he starts to mumble, he lifts his fingers just enough to slip them in between Sean's and rest there once more.]
I suppose I just don't have enough faith in people to have trusted that you would do that for me. [He admits it with a small grimace, just watching their hands rather than looking back at Sean.] I'm sure he would have taken better care of you than I could, anyway. I wasn't made to have relationships. I was made to integrate for the sake of whatever assignment I was sent on.
Sean, when I told you I didn't have parents, there was a little more to that. I just...I wasn't actually born. I was the definition of a test tube baby. I never occupied someone else's womb, I was put together one piece of DNA at a time. I was incubated like a sample in a petri dish, designed to someone else's exact specifications and grown in sterile but basically perfect conditions for optimal health. Have you ever seen the movie GATTACA? Like that, just without the backing of a potential family.
[It's all very resigned, very matter of fact. He thinks about this a lot.]
I never knew anything but this place, until I was thirteen, and Amanda decided to take me along to some...function. Up until then, the only people I knew were the ones here. Other people are distracting, they'd said. You need to focus on bringing your mind up on par with your genetics. Then you can worry about the rest. And...I met Gavin. He thought I was weird. I don't even know if the other kid I met back then remembers me, but uh. I've arrested him a few times. Petty crimes, drug-related usually.
Gavin helped me a lot, when I was a teenager. Lent me his grandmother. I only knew what one was in theory.
I have a twin. He's an exact copy of me that they made as a backup, in case I failed whatever they made me to do. I never met him. I think he works for the FBI now.
[He trails off, leaning back and watching the window on the other side of the room, tiny snowflakes silently peppering the glass then melting off. He feels drained, and looks even more tired now, just talking about it. He doesn't even know if it'll help Sean understand anything. He just needs to say something. Anything to keep that line of communication open.]
I ran away as soon as I knew I could get myself legally emancipated from their guardianship. They didn't approve of my wanting to be a cop instead of...some kind of perfect sleuth. I wanted to help people.
no subject
I suppose I just don't have enough faith in people to have trusted that you would do that for me. [He admits it with a small grimace, just watching their hands rather than looking back at Sean.] I'm sure he would have taken better care of you than I could, anyway. I wasn't made to have relationships. I was made to integrate for the sake of whatever assignment I was sent on.
Sean, when I told you I didn't have parents, there was a little more to that. I just...I wasn't actually born. I was the definition of a test tube baby. I never occupied someone else's womb, I was put together one piece of DNA at a time. I was incubated like a sample in a petri dish, designed to someone else's exact specifications and grown in sterile but basically perfect conditions for optimal health. Have you ever seen the movie GATTACA? Like that, just without the backing of a potential family.
[It's all very resigned, very matter of fact. He thinks about this a lot.]
I never knew anything but this place, until I was thirteen, and Amanda decided to take me along to some...function. Up until then, the only people I knew were the ones here. Other people are distracting, they'd said. You need to focus on bringing your mind up on par with your genetics. Then you can worry about the rest. And...I met Gavin. He thought I was weird. I don't even know if the other kid I met back then remembers me, but uh. I've arrested him a few times. Petty crimes, drug-related usually.
Gavin helped me a lot, when I was a teenager. Lent me his grandmother. I only knew what one was in theory.
I have a twin. He's an exact copy of me that they made as a backup, in case I failed whatever they made me to do. I never met him. I think he works for the FBI now.
[He trails off, leaning back and watching the window on the other side of the room, tiny snowflakes silently peppering the glass then melting off. He feels drained, and looks even more tired now, just talking about it. He doesn't even know if it'll help Sean understand anything. He just needs to say something. Anything to keep that line of communication open.]
I ran away as soon as I knew I could get myself legally emancipated from their guardianship. They didn't approve of my wanting to be a cop instead of...some kind of perfect sleuth. I wanted to help people.