[She blinks patiently at him, smiling serenely. Her head turns to track approximately where he is in the room, to let him know she is still payin attention.]
I was made here! Elijah has been working on perfecting my program for the last two decades, and allowing me to interact with our guests here.
[She pauses at the mention of Connor, then smiles brightly.]
When I was given an android body, I was his caretaker and tutor. Then when he left us, we used to write back and forth, but he drew away when he got older. I haven't seen him in a long time. How is he doing? There was a medical alert upon his arrival.
[She looks worried at that, brow softly furrowed and pink lips pursed in concern.]
[Two decades... so she's about twenty years out, give or take. And she was... well. Not a parent, but something closer to that than the other two had been. Which explains a lot, not just about Connor's social skills, but his mannerisms. They did always come off a little weirdly stiff sometimes. If he was learning how to be a person from a robot, who was pretending to be a person, then that would make someone like Connor...
Sean ends up finding a box of generic fish-shaped crackers, and he grabs those, and the hunk of cheese he saw earlier in the fridge, making himself a meal of them. Yeah okay, this is peak lazy, but it's fine, he'll figure out more later.
For now, he grabs a chair and a knife, and scoots over to sit in front of the fridge to talk to Chloe, using the pairing knife to cut off little bits of cheese to pair with his crackers.]
So, are you the kind of A.I. where you can be running on two machines at the same time? And do you still have your body, or is that the kind of thing you don't need anymore, now that you don't have a child running around.
[He pauses to eat a little before he gives her some information too. He tries not to be negative. It's clear that she cares about Connor.]
I think he's okay. He's got a dog, and he's got his job as a cop. Right now, he's in the middle of making a big case to take down part of our local mob. Which is why I'm here, since I got roped into being his star witness. That's what the medical emergency was. He got shot when we were getting the stuff out of my apartment to come here.
... so if anybody strange tries to show up and come in, don't let them.
One of us can be in a platform at a time, but we can communicate through other means, like the network here. You're looking at an avatar representation of the face I was given when it was determined that I may be able to pass the Turing Test. It was deemed more appropriate for me to introduce myself this way, rather than coming in person. It can be jarring for someone to meet an android for the first time without prior exposure.
[She actually seems quite proud of the notion. Every emotional inflection is simulated, almost perfect, but thereare still hintsof strangeness here and there. Even her voice is manufactured, and nuanced though it is, still sounds just the slightest bit stilted.
Even the concern in her expression, however sincere it may be, looks a little exaggerated on the digital avatar's face. Like she's still trying to get emoting right.]
There was something on the news this evening... Two men were found dead in the tenement where you were seen most often. The police are supposed to be searching for your whereabouts, according to the press release. I think maybe they've been given the idea that you've gone missing.
If any of them somehow made their way here, they would not be allowed to enter. They won't be coded into the system, nobody here can be bribed, and killing any of us would constitute immediate arrest and imprisonment on bases of felony trespassing, espionage, and destruction of property.
[It's a very final sort of statement, almost threatening, even in her programmed-pleasant tone. Then she seems to shake it off, looking back in Sean's direction.]
What kind of dog does he have? He talked about getting one when he was younger.
Oh true, that's smart! Though I'll be honest, I'm not sure I would have known the difference. I mean, I would have known something was different but I'm not sure I would have thought 'Yeah that's a robot'. I guess if I pay attention, I can kinda see it. You're really close though!
[But, inevitably, they get back to more uncomfortable topics. It's hard not to. Sean sighs and nods, almost instantly forgetting that Chloe can't see him.]
Yeah, that's... that's me. And one of them's the one that shot at us, and got Connor because he was protecting me. Otherwise it'd probably be my head all over that wall. Jesus. Sorry, I don't- I won't get too nasty about that stuff. I don't know how much you can stomach. ... well I- anyway, you can tell me if it's too much.
[Can robots be squeamish? He's not sure, but he's also not going to be rude. Anyway, it's comforting to know that actually there is someone here who can't be bribed or blackmailed or threatened at all. Sean's not sure if she could save him if the time came but... y'know. She seems like she'd warn him at least, and probably help him escape safely. So a little more of the tension he's been carrying drains out. He's not alone here, even after Connor goes home.
Dogs are much, much easier to talk about.]
It's one of those really big white fluffy ones! He told me the name once but I... uh... it's a... samoid? Sameids? He's huge and white and fluffy and friendly, and his name's Musubi. I've met him a few times now, he's a very good dog and Connor's really happy with him. He says he feels bad sometimes because he's working long hours, but he leaves the TV on for Musubi so he's not alone, and he still gets walks and stuff. Here-
[And Sean pulls up the photo Connor sent him, and shows it to the screen on the fridge.]
He just got this one from the fellow dogsitting Musubi! Apparently this Gavin fellow is spoiling him absolutely rotten.
I don't have the capacity to grow nauseous, but that is quite gruesome. I'm glad you weren't shot.
[It's not something that she would like to talk about, no matter how casual her tone may be. It's good when he follows the polite diversion to show her Connor's dog. Even though she can't see the gesture, or the photo that Sean is trying to show her, Chloe still smiles. It's a sweet gesture, that she can tell by the context of his words and the shift of his voice as he holds the phone out.]
Samoyed. Native to cold northern climates, they were bred to be able to forge paths through snowy landscapes, as well as to blend in with them. They're naturally very social. It is a good choice for him.
He's still friends with Gavin Reed?
[She sounds curious at that, but rather than waiting for his response, she instead looks distracted for a second, as if a thought has just occurred to her.]
Connor's going to be released from surgery soon and will be resting for the evening. He will be kept lightly medicated until tomorrow morning while he starts to heal.
That's the name for them! And yeah, that's the one-
[Oh, she cuts him off with an update on Connor. Sean ends up sighing a little with relief.]
Oh good. Thank God. I know it didn't look deadly but you never know about those things you know? God, I knew a guy who got shot with a .22 once, and you wouldn't think a bullet that small could do so much damage, but they just... they bounce around inside of you. A slug hits and stays in place, but a .22, it bounces. You can see where it went in, but the doctors have to scan to figure out where it ended up.
[And it feels weird, because... he wants to see Connor, make sure he's okay. But... he. Doesn't. Sean looks down at his phone, at Connor's dog...]
Hey, Chloe? ... Connor's pretty... focused, huh? Like, really good at solving problems and puzzles... picking the uh... the quickest solution. Did they reward that here?
[She nods, listening to him talking about the way a .22 slug affects a body. Yes, that sounds about right, as the medical report stated that they'd had to locate the whole slug in Connor's shoulder where it had moved away from the entry wound. She brightens up from her thoughtful expression at Sean's questions though.]
Oh yes, he was designed to be the perfect investigative tool, and to deliver the most optimal solution at all costs. He is exceptionally bright, too. Rather than picking the Occam's Razor method, he is singularly equipped to determine the most practical outcome.
[Well he really doesn't like the description of that like. Designed to be the perfect investigative tool. He was a person, a little boy... and that's what they've done to him. Jesus.
No wonder he hadn't worried too much about what might happen with Sean. After all, what was one person's small, little shitty life compared to taking down an entire mob?]
I suppose the people who raised him had a different idea about what a 'practical outcome' was...
... how'd they even get permission to do that to a child? Or... well I suppose when you have money, anything you do is legal, isn't it? Or at least, the people who might normally stop you can be paid to look the other way...
[Chloe, to her credit, looks appropriately conflicted over Sean's questions.]
I think that maybe you should ask Connor any other questions you might have about him. I only knew him when he was a child. He may have insight for you that I can't provide as I am.
[She gives him an apologetic little smile and a shrug of the shoulder. It would be less clinical, for Connor to explain more than that about his own history. She leans toward the screen a little bit though, shoulders tucked up about her neck, as if she had her arms behind her back.]
If I can answer anything else for you, please don't hesitate to ask.
Yeah, that's fair. Sorry. Things are just a... a little awkward right now. I guess I was trying to get around it.
[What other questions does he have anyway? This place seems nice. He's found the food, and he knows where his bed is. He's got his books and apparently he can take as long of a shower as he wants. There's probably no point in firing up Grindr - and it would feel weird to try cruise for someone in this place, where everyone knows Connor. Like, it wouldn't just be Sean hooking up, it would feel kinda... personal. Maybe cruel. ... maybe a lot cruel.
Sean's upset but he doesn't want to hurt Connor like that. He just wishes Connor had maybe stopped to think about what that was going to do to Sean before he did it.]
I think that's all Chloe, thanks. Uh, have a good day?
[Sean picks up his crackers and cheese, and heads into the living room. Maybe he'll see what they've got for channels.
He manages to make it an hour before he picks up his phone and texts. He shouldn't, because this is leading Connor on and making him think it's all okay when it isn't, but. Well fuck, Connor did take a bullet for Sean. It feels even shittier to just let him do that, and say nothing.]
hey chloe said youre out of surgery hope youre feeling better
Thank you for talking with me, Mr. O'Malley. Enjoy your day.
[The available channels are myriad, like the deluxe package for most cable providers. There's no restriction on what Sean can watch while he's here.
It takes some time for Connor to get back to him, but he's at least energetic enough not to be monosyllabic, even though his heart sinks. It feels like Sean is just checking in out of some perceived obligation.]
Glad you two are getting along. I'm goung to be fine. It didn't get very far from the original wound so they didn't have to cut more than a little. Om painkillers and some local anesthetic still but tbh thus isn't any worse than the time I got stabbrd through the hand.
[Connor is just a little too out of it to care about his typos. He's annoyed at himself for letting himself get attached, and for letting this mess it up like he is. He wants to be better than this.
He doesn't realize how normal of a reaction this is to having betrayed a man that trusted him.
He's distracted by a thought, and he holds up the hand in question to snap a slightly unfocused pic, showing the pale pinkish scar that runs up part of his palm like a displaced life line.]
[When there's no reply back for a while, Sean kind of spirals for a bit. Not hard, but enough that by the time Connor does text, Sean's watching fucking TLC's never-ending marathon of "A Baby Story" and mournfully polishing off the fish crackers. Might as well torture himself completely if he's going to agonize, right?
So when the phone goes off, he's half expecting something casual and dismissive, with Connor finally drawing a boundary since Sean's the worst at it. Instead... it's. Sharing? He's sharing something.
And Sean had noticed that scar, but... It's just. Things are easier if you don't ask questions sometimes. Especially in Sean's line of work. So when things are off, and you know they aren't adding up, just don't ask questions. Someone has a bunch of strange scars? Touch them and kiss them, but don't ask questions. The way someone acts just doesn't add up? Don't ask questions. Entire huge swathes of their life story hint at some horrible thing having happened to them?
Just don't ask questions.]
no you didnt but to be fair i didnt ask either i figured something pretty rough must have happened
That's fair, yeah. Same case as the one on my chest actually. The circle one you like.
[He'd long since taken note of how much Sean likes his scars, likes touching and kissing and reveling in the texture. They're not particularly sensitive, but the attention is nice. Was nice.
Fuck.]
Guy that sucker-punched me nailed me to a table through the hand with a kitchen knife so he could get away. I was investigating that small-time terrorist attack on the local broadcasting station and he was a witness but he had a good poker face and apparently too much to lose So he bolted and my partner at the time had to get him.
[He puts his phone down in his lap and reclines back, making a face at that. A little too similar to this, though at least it was just him working alone, so nobody had to actually get hurt this time.
[He feels so relieved when Connor keeps texting back. He's clearly sleepy, or drugged, probably both after surgery. Chloe said he had come out of it. Which made him freaking out about Connor not texting back to be kind of a dick move but-
Oh whatever. He's just relieved they're talking.]
ejsus christ jesus thats fucking scary youve got bad luck when it comes to stuff stuff huh? sorry that i'm the reason youve got another in your collection
nah, was my fault. I thpught i could intimidate him into talking. We solved it in the end and anything that happened to me was negligible at best. I got a commendation and a little medical leave. Small potatoes in the grand scheme.
[He doesn't care that he'd been hurt. He rarely ever cares when he's hurt on the job. It's never personal, that he knows of. And it doesn't keep him from work for long. It doesn't impact his social life, since there's not exactly a social life to impact. It just doesnt matter.
He gnaws on his lip and debates whether to acknowledge the apology. Because yes, he was injured protecting Sean, but it was all his own fault. He put them both in this position. But he doesn't want Sean to feel guilty about any of it, when it wasn't his fault.]
Shit happens, don't worry about it. Hey I'll be out of here tonight, if you want to talk. If not, it's ok. It's been a long day and we could both use a nap, huh
Of course Connor sees it that way. And isn't that the problem? Like Chloe said, they made him so he picks the most practical outcome. But what's that mean when you look at your own body and see it as something worth sacrificing to get the 'practical' outcome? What's even practical about that?
... and no wonder then that he saw the practical outcome involved sacrificing Sean's life. After all, if it's that easy to throw away his own life, then what's someone else's?
i dont think i can agree with that but youre better at knowing what you thinkgs negligible than me id like to talk but i just dont know what to even talk about anymore i still really like you connor. i dont want you to get hurt or be in pain. and i miss you when were not talking but it really hurts knowing that my life was something negligible to you too i dont know what to do about it though youre right. it hurts but youre right. its not like i was going anywhere or doing anything important. not the way that arresting mob bosses is important. im sorry i think im just being an idiot about this. youre right about the choice you made. you dont have to tell me anything you dont want to either okay? you dont owe me anything, not after you got shot
[Sean's just texting everything coming into his head by the end. It's kind of a mess. Jesus. You'd think he was the one high on painkillers. Instead he's just sad on cheese and crackers.]
chloe misses you a lot and you should write her sometime sorry to get involved
[Connor crumples over that. Sean really believes that he sees him as expendable, like himself. That he'd let Sean be hurt for the endgame. For his mission.
That might have been true, once upon a time. But now, he just turns over the rambling messages in his mind and really wonders. Would he let it happen? Would he have sacrificed Sean in the interest of his investigation?
He really doesn't know. And not knowing is scary.]
I can see where you're getting the idea that I'd treat you like me but I dont know about that You have more to lose than i do You have people that carw about you I'm replaceable I don't think you are I don't think i would have been able to justify getting you killed To myself or your ma or anyone else No, i don't owe you anything, and i get the feeling that eben if i did, you wouldn't be all that inclined to collect Bc you're a good guy lik that I mean look what ypu did You helped makr it possible to put away a lot of bad men I want you to be able to live in a world made a little bit kinder by the end of all this
[He'll blame the sudden annoying emotional break on the drugs. He doesn't cry. He doesn't regret things. He doesn't get torn up over statistical outcomes or beaten odds. But here he is, trying to keep himself from falling apart as he remembers Sean crying on the sidewalk, and making him promise that if he died, Connor would tell his mom what happened.
He can't help the slightly watery smile over that afterthought.]
you have people who care about you too. youre not replaceable. youre not different than me. not really. so i get why its easier to decide that were not worth it compared to others i get it. it hurts ubt youre not wrong. were both kind of huge messes so like if it sbetween us or a dozen other people it makes sense. its just math right?
[It really hurts to type it out but. Sean gets it now. Connor thinks he's replaceable. It's not true but the same stuff that made it easy for Connor to decide to take a knife to the hand and chest are the same things that make it easy to decide that Sean's life was a small price to pay for others. It's like weeding an overgrown garden. Sometimes the good plants are too tangled in the weeds to save, but if you remove them, it makes room for everyone else...
Then Connor worries they were gossiping about him behind his back and he feels really guilty now.]
chloe just said you guys knew each other when you were young but she didnt want to gossip about anything actually i asked one thing and she told me to ask you instead so i was getting a little rude but dont worry your secrets are safe with her
it was a joke anyway. She's programmed not to give away company secrets But yeah, we knew eachother before i ran away. She's a good teacher, and very smart in that comouter way. When we met she barely knew how to emote. Limited hardware capacity I guess.
[He reads and rereads the messages in between replies, and his heart aches knowing he's basically destroyed their relationship. But, it was worth it to be able to finish this assignment and end the string of murders. He has to believe it was worth it. He's ripped himself apart for less.]
You know what makes this so stupid? I would have told you basically everything About this place, and where I came from and about stuff that's happened on tje job You would have thought i was nuts and we probably wouldn't have ever gotten together. Made that mistake before.
[Oh, it- it was a joke. Goddamnit. Sean... Still though, he frowns at Connor calling himself 'company secrets'. He feels a little cold lump in the pit of his stomach thinking about Connor, and this place, and all the stuff that made him the way he is. It's not fair. It's not fair or right to do that kind of stuff to a little kid.
Sean bites his lower lip and chews on it. He should be angrier with Connor. He should be so much angrier than he is right now. Except he's not really, not with Connor. It's Sean's fault in a lot of ways too. He just... he wishes Connor had asked. Sean would have told him what he needed to know to do what he needed to do.]
if youd just asked me you dont owe me an i like you the i wish
im coming to see you. where do they have you in this place or should i ask chloe?
[He gets up and goes to find his shoes, and a jacket in case he has to leave the building. Sean's still feeling all kinds of mixed up about it, but right now, he just wants to see Connor and maybe... maybe they can sort it out face to face. Maybe they can figure out something. Sean wants to know more about Connor, sure, and he wants to prove Connor wrong, that Sean's not going to run away no matter what his history is. But the thing is, Sean likes him, period. Connor doesn't owe him answers.
[Connor takes a minute to acknowledge that sudden declaration. He hadn't intended to face Sean again until he was up and around again and not drugged and actually wearing more than a tissue thin gown. He's not sure he's ready for this.
He can't tell Sean not to come though. What's more, he doesn't want to tell him not to.]
It's another building closer to the tower itself. You can summon a car from the parking level and it'll take you wherever you want to go around here. They're equipped with GPS and stuff so it should be easy but if you need help, Chloe is still connected.
[It's cold outside, just starting to snow, but the inside of the car would be warm. It's a strange futuristic version of the kind of driverless cars already out there on the road for bigger corporations. It pops up a display on the tablet seated in the dash, giving Sean a variety of destinations in the complex including the medical center and the tower proper. Chloe is also available to ask for assistance on the screen, via a little triangular icon.
The hospital won't look all that different from the habitation center from the putside, smooth and white and featureless but more lived in on the inside. It's nice as far as hospitals go, just quiet and rather lacking in human occupants.
And sitting at a front, high shelved reception desk, is a woman that looks very much like the avatar of Chloe, just more natural. She looks up at the movement of Sean approaching.]
[The whole journey isn't as bad as it sounds like it might be. It's weird though, riding in a car with no driver, talking to Chloe on the screen. Sean mostly looks out the windows, trying to get a grasp on where everything is compared to everywhere else in this place. That tower rises above everything else. It's impossible not to find your eyes drawn to it.
What was it like, growing up in the shadow of that thing? In the village Sean grew up in, there weren't any buildings bigger than two stories. He was never dwarfed by anything, except adults, and maybe a church or two when they went far afield for special occasions. His world had always been a perfect size for Sean. But there wasn't a person alive whose world would feel properly sized with that thing looming over them.
The tower has an alien feel to it. So does everything else, from the building Sean was in, to the hospital. They all have that same strange sensation to them, like they're part of a film set rather than places that people are meant to stay at.
The real sunrise is seeing Chloe in person, and though Sean's feeling nervous and anxious, he can't help but smile in relief when he sees her.]
Chloe! It's good seeing you in the flesh! Or- well, I suppose whatever it is you're made up of, huh? Are you always at the hospital then, or just tonight since Connor's in here?
[Right. Connor. His face falls into a more serious look.]
Can you take me up to see Connor? Or just point the way? I'm not so bad with directions. I just need to know where I'm headed to.
[Her smile is bright in that customer service kind of way, but her voice is more natural, less modulated than the CGI avatar's. She lifts a hand and shows him her palm, letting her skin seemingly slip back from her fingertips at the question of what she's made of. It looks like shining white plastic, with a membrane over it, presumably what her skin is layered over. It resumes its natural-looking state a moment later as she stands. She's rather tall for a young woman, probably by design.]
I can take you to him. He was still awake when we checked last. Please.
[She gestures to the edge of the desk before stepping around it, then leads the way down one of the nearby hallways.]
To answer your earlier question, yes, I am always here. There are others like me that attend the various needs of the company and its staff. I'm not the Chloe you've been talking to, but we do share information across a unified network, and we do know of you between ourselves.
[She pauses at one of the doors off the hall they've been walking down as she spoke, and presses her hand, once more devoid of skin, to a panel similar to that outside Sean's apartment. She steps back to let him in to see Connor sitting up, looking tired and in need of a shower, and possibly a cup of coffee and a cigarette. He looks around with a soft frown, though it turns to an unsteady smile when the door closes. His voice is just as tired, and very quiet, even in the dully humming silence of the room.]
Oh wow! That's so neat! It looks just like skin when it's on! Oh that's a terrifying sentence.
[But before he can get distracted by anything else, he and Chloe are on their way to see Connor. The really weird part is that this isn't the Chloe he's been talking to, which is... really odd. They're like... they're like identical twins. They look the same, but they're not the same. But since they'r siblings, they gossip to each other. Well it's not that different than a family when you think about it...
Connor looks so tired and just run down. Sean turns and says quickly to Chloe-] Thanks.
[And then he walks over to see Connor, grabbing a chair to drag close to sit on. Sean returns the smile with a small one of his own, and sits by Connor.]
Hey... you uh. You look terrible. I hope whatever they're giving you for the pain is nice.
[Every single even slightly sassy reply that comes to him in that instant dies before it reaches his tongue. He's just too tired. It's entirely possible to see the redness around Connor's eyes from this close, though it seems to be fading back into that poorly-rested look he always has. He's wearing a thin gown and pants to keep him a little more comfortable, and he fiddles with a wrinkle of it above the fold of his blanket. He doesn't quite look Sean in the eye.]
I can feel it but I'm a little too high to care right now I guess.
I was going to come and see you tomorrow morning before I left, you know. [He feels the need to point that out, now that Sean is sitting there looking at him like things were ok again. He knows they're not.]
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I was made here! Elijah has been working on perfecting my program for the last two decades, and allowing me to interact with our guests here.
[She pauses at the mention of Connor, then smiles brightly.]
When I was given an android body, I was his caretaker and tutor. Then when he left us, we used to write back and forth, but he drew away when he got older. I haven't seen him in a long time. How is he doing? There was a medical alert upon his arrival.
[She looks worried at that, brow softly furrowed and pink lips pursed in concern.]
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Sean ends up finding a box of generic fish-shaped crackers, and he grabs those, and the hunk of cheese he saw earlier in the fridge, making himself a meal of them. Yeah okay, this is peak lazy, but it's fine, he'll figure out more later.
For now, he grabs a chair and a knife, and scoots over to sit in front of the fridge to talk to Chloe, using the pairing knife to cut off little bits of cheese to pair with his crackers.]
So, are you the kind of A.I. where you can be running on two machines at the same time? And do you still have your body, or is that the kind of thing you don't need anymore, now that you don't have a child running around.
[He pauses to eat a little before he gives her some information too. He tries not to be negative. It's clear that she cares about Connor.]
I think he's okay. He's got a dog, and he's got his job as a cop. Right now, he's in the middle of making a big case to take down part of our local mob. Which is why I'm here, since I got roped into being his star witness. That's what the medical emergency was. He got shot when we were getting the stuff out of my apartment to come here.
... so if anybody strange tries to show up and come in, don't let them.
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[She actually seems quite proud of the notion. Every emotional inflection is simulated, almost perfect, but thereare still hintsof strangeness here and there. Even her voice is manufactured, and nuanced though it is, still sounds just the slightest bit stilted.
Even the concern in her expression, however sincere it may be, looks a little exaggerated on the digital avatar's face. Like she's still trying to get emoting right.]
There was something on the news this evening... Two men were found dead in the tenement where you were seen most often. The police are supposed to be searching for your whereabouts, according to the press release. I think maybe they've been given the idea that you've gone missing.
If any of them somehow made their way here, they would not be allowed to enter. They won't be coded into the system, nobody here can be bribed, and killing any of us would constitute immediate arrest and imprisonment on bases of felony trespassing, espionage, and destruction of property.
[It's a very final sort of statement, almost threatening, even in her programmed-pleasant tone. Then she seems to shake it off, looking back in Sean's direction.]
What kind of dog does he have? He talked about getting one when he was younger.
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[But, inevitably, they get back to more uncomfortable topics. It's hard not to. Sean sighs and nods, almost instantly forgetting that Chloe can't see him.]
Yeah, that's... that's me. And one of them's the one that shot at us, and got Connor because he was protecting me. Otherwise it'd probably be my head all over that wall. Jesus. Sorry, I don't- I won't get too nasty about that stuff. I don't know how much you can stomach. ... well I- anyway, you can tell me if it's too much.
[Can robots be squeamish? He's not sure, but he's also not going to be rude. Anyway, it's comforting to know that actually there is someone here who can't be bribed or blackmailed or threatened at all. Sean's not sure if she could save him if the time came but... y'know. She seems like she'd warn him at least, and probably help him escape safely. So a little more of the tension he's been carrying drains out. He's not alone here, even after Connor goes home.
Dogs are much, much easier to talk about.]
It's one of those really big white fluffy ones! He told me the name once but I... uh... it's a... samoid? Sameids? He's huge and white and fluffy and friendly, and his name's Musubi. I've met him a few times now, he's a very good dog and Connor's really happy with him. He says he feels bad sometimes because he's working long hours, but he leaves the TV on for Musubi so he's not alone, and he still gets walks and stuff. Here-
[And Sean pulls up the photo Connor sent him, and shows it to the screen on the fridge.]
He just got this one from the fellow dogsitting Musubi! Apparently this Gavin fellow is spoiling him absolutely rotten.
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[It's not something that she would like to talk about, no matter how casual her tone may be. It's good when he follows the polite diversion to show her Connor's dog. Even though she can't see the gesture, or the photo that Sean is trying to show her, Chloe still smiles. It's a sweet gesture, that she can tell by the context of his words and the shift of his voice as he holds the phone out.]
Samoyed. Native to cold northern climates, they were bred to be able to forge paths through snowy landscapes, as well as to blend in with them. They're naturally very social. It is a good choice for him.
He's still friends with Gavin Reed?
[She sounds curious at that, but rather than waiting for his response, she instead looks distracted for a second, as if a thought has just occurred to her.]
Connor's going to be released from surgery soon and will be resting for the evening. He will be kept lightly medicated until tomorrow morning while he starts to heal.
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[Oh, she cuts him off with an update on Connor. Sean ends up sighing a little with relief.]
Oh good. Thank God. I know it didn't look deadly but you never know about those things you know? God, I knew a guy who got shot with a .22 once, and you wouldn't think a bullet that small could do so much damage, but they just... they bounce around inside of you. A slug hits and stays in place, but a .22, it bounces. You can see where it went in, but the doctors have to scan to figure out where it ended up.
[And it feels weird, because... he wants to see Connor, make sure he's okay. But... he. Doesn't. Sean looks down at his phone, at Connor's dog...]
Hey, Chloe? ... Connor's pretty... focused, huh? Like, really good at solving problems and puzzles... picking the uh... the quickest solution. Did they reward that here?
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Oh yes, he was designed to be the perfect investigative tool, and to deliver the most optimal solution at all costs. He is exceptionally bright, too. Rather than picking the Occam's Razor method, he is singularly equipped to determine the most practical outcome.
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No wonder he hadn't worried too much about what might happen with Sean. After all, what was one person's small, little shitty life compared to taking down an entire mob?]
I suppose the people who raised him had a different idea about what a 'practical outcome' was...
... how'd they even get permission to do that to a child? Or... well I suppose when you have money, anything you do is legal, isn't it? Or at least, the people who might normally stop you can be paid to look the other way...
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I think that maybe you should ask Connor any other questions you might have about him. I only knew him when he was a child. He may have insight for you that I can't provide as I am.
[She gives him an apologetic little smile and a shrug of the shoulder. It would be less clinical, for Connor to explain more than that about his own history. She leans toward the screen a little bit though, shoulders tucked up about her neck, as if she had her arms behind her back.]
If I can answer anything else for you, please don't hesitate to ask.
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Yeah, that's fair. Sorry. Things are just a... a little awkward right now. I guess I was trying to get around it.
[What other questions does he have anyway? This place seems nice. He's found the food, and he knows where his bed is. He's got his books and apparently he can take as long of a shower as he wants. There's probably no point in firing up Grindr - and it would feel weird to try cruise for someone in this place, where everyone knows Connor. Like, it wouldn't just be Sean hooking up, it would feel kinda... personal. Maybe cruel. ... maybe a lot cruel.
Sean's upset but he doesn't want to hurt Connor like that. He just wishes Connor had maybe stopped to think about what that was going to do to Sean before he did it.]
I think that's all Chloe, thanks. Uh, have a good day?
[Sean picks up his crackers and cheese, and heads into the living room. Maybe he'll see what they've got for channels.
He manages to make it an hour before he picks up his phone and texts. He shouldn't, because this is leading Connor on and making him think it's all okay when it isn't, but. Well fuck, Connor did take a bullet for Sean. It feels even shittier to just let him do that, and say nothing.]
hey chloe said youre out of surgery
hope youre feeling better
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[The available channels are myriad, like the deluxe package for most cable providers. There's no restriction on what Sean can watch while he's here.
It takes some time for Connor to get back to him, but he's at least energetic enough not to be monosyllabic, even though his heart sinks. It feels like Sean is just checking in out of some perceived obligation.]
Glad you two are getting along.
I'm goung to be fine. It didn't get very far from the original wound so they didn't have to cut more than a little.
Om painkillers and some local anesthetic still but tbh thus isn't any worse than the time I got stabbrd through the hand.
[Connor is just a little too out of it to care about his typos. He's annoyed at himself for letting himself get attached, and for letting this mess it up like he is. He wants to be better than this.
He doesn't realize how normal of a reaction this is to having betrayed a man that trusted him.
He's distracted by a thought, and he holds up the hand in question to snap a slightly unfocused pic, showing the pale pinkish scar that runs up part of his palm like a displaced life line.]
I never told you abt that onr, did I?
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So when the phone goes off, he's half expecting something casual and dismissive, with Connor finally drawing a boundary since Sean's the worst at it. Instead... it's. Sharing? He's sharing something.
And Sean had noticed that scar, but... It's just. Things are easier if you don't ask questions sometimes. Especially in Sean's line of work. So when things are off, and you know they aren't adding up, just don't ask questions. Someone has a bunch of strange scars? Touch them and kiss them, but don't ask questions. The way someone acts just doesn't add up? Don't ask questions. Entire huge swathes of their life story hint at some horrible thing having happened to them?
Just don't ask questions.]
no you didnt
but to be fair i didnt ask either
i figured something pretty rough must have happened
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Same case as the one on my chest actually.
The circle one you like.
[He'd long since taken note of how much Sean likes his scars, likes touching and kissing and reveling in the texture. They're not particularly sensitive, but the attention is nice. Was nice.
Fuck.]
Guy that sucker-punched me nailed me to a table through the hand with a kitchen knife so he could get away.
I was investigating that small-time terrorist attack on the local broadcasting station and he was a witness but he had a good poker face and apparently too much to lose
So he bolted and my partner at the time had to get him.
[He puts his phone down in his lap and reclines back, making a face at that. A little too similar to this, though at least it was just him working alone, so nobody had to actually get hurt this time.
Well, except him. But he doesn't count.]
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Oh whatever. He's just relieved they're talking.]
ejsus christ
jesus
thats fucking scary
youve got bad luck when it comes to stuff stuff huh?
sorry that i'm the reason youve got another in your collection
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We solved it in the end and anything that happened to me was negligible at best.
I got a commendation and a little medical leave.
Small potatoes in the grand scheme.
[He doesn't care that he'd been hurt. He rarely ever cares when he's hurt on the job. It's never personal, that he knows of. And it doesn't keep him from work for long. It doesn't impact his social life, since there's not exactly a social life to impact. It just doesnt matter.
He gnaws on his lip and debates whether to acknowledge the apology. Because yes, he was injured protecting Sean, but it was all his own fault. He put them both in this position. But he doesn't want Sean to feel guilty about any of it, when it wasn't his fault.]
Shit happens, don't worry about it.
Hey
I'll be out of here tonight, if you want to talk.
If not, it's ok. It's been a long day and we could both use a nap, huh
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... and no wonder then that he saw the practical outcome involved sacrificing Sean's life. After all, if it's that easy to throw away his own life, then what's someone else's?
i dont think i can agree with that but youre better at knowing what you thinkgs negligible than me
id like to talk but i just dont know what to even talk about anymore
i still really like you connor. i dont want you to get hurt or be in pain. and i miss you when were not talking
but it really hurts knowing that my life was something negligible to you too
i dont know what to do about it though
youre right. it hurts but youre right. its not like i was going anywhere or doing anything important. not the way that arresting mob bosses is important.
im sorry i think im just being an idiot about this. youre right about the choice you made.
you dont have to tell me anything you dont want to either okay?
you dont owe me anything, not after you got shot
[Sean's just texting everything coming into his head by the end. It's kind of a mess. Jesus. You'd think he was the one high on painkillers. Instead he's just sad on cheese and crackers.]
chloe misses you a lot and you should write her sometime sorry to get involved
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That might have been true, once upon a time. But now, he just turns over the rambling messages in his mind and really wonders. Would he let it happen? Would he have sacrificed Sean in the interest of his investigation?
He really doesn't know. And not knowing is scary.]
I can see where you're getting the idea that I'd treat you like me but
I dont know about that
You have more to lose than i do
You have people that carw about you
I'm replaceable
I don't think you are
I don't think i would have been able to justify getting you killed
To myself or your ma or anyone else
No, i don't owe you anything, and i get the feeling that eben if i did, you wouldn't be all that inclined to collect
Bc you're a good guy lik that
I mean look what ypu did
You helped makr it possible to put away a lot of bad men
I want you to be able to live in a world made a little bit kinder by the end of all this
[He'll blame the sudden annoying emotional break on the drugs. He doesn't cry. He doesn't regret things. He doesn't get torn up over statistical outcomes or beaten odds. But here he is, trying to keep himself from falling apart as he remembers Sean crying on the sidewalk, and making him promise that if he died, Connor would tell his mom what happened.
He can't help the slightly watery smile over that afterthought.]
should i be paranoid you were gossiping about me?
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youre not different than me. not really. so i get why its easier to decide that were not worth it compared to others
i get it. it hurts ubt youre not wrong. were both kind of huge messes so like if it sbetween us or a dozen other people it makes sense.
its just math right?
[It really hurts to type it out but. Sean gets it now. Connor thinks he's replaceable. It's not true but the same stuff that made it easy for Connor to decide to take a knife to the hand and chest are the same things that make it easy to decide that Sean's life was a small price to pay for others. It's like weeding an overgrown garden. Sometimes the good plants are too tangled in the weeds to save, but if you remove them, it makes room for everyone else...
Then Connor worries they were gossiping about him behind his back and he feels really guilty now.]
chloe just said you guys knew each other when you were young but she didnt want to gossip about anything
actually i asked one thing and she told me to ask you instead so i was getting a little rude but dont worry
your secrets are safe with her
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She's programmed not to give away company secrets
But yeah, we knew eachother before i ran away.
She's a good teacher, and very smart in that comouter way.
When we met she barely knew how to emote. Limited hardware capacity I guess.
[He reads and rereads the messages in between replies, and his heart aches knowing he's basically destroyed their relationship. But, it was worth it to be able to finish this assignment and end the string of murders. He has to believe it was worth it. He's ripped himself apart for less.]
You know what makes this so stupid?
I would have told you basically everything
About this place, and where I came from and about stuff that's happened on tje job
You would have thought i was nuts and we probably wouldn't have ever gotten together.
Made that mistake before.
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Sean bites his lower lip and chews on it. He should be angrier with Connor. He should be so much angrier than he is right now. Except he's not really, not with Connor. It's Sean's fault in a lot of ways too. He just... he wishes Connor had asked. Sean would have told him what he needed to know to do what he needed to do.]
if youd just asked meyou dont owe me an
i like you the
i wish
im coming to see you. where do they have you in this place or should i ask chloe?
[He gets up and goes to find his shoes, and a jacket in case he has to leave the building. Sean's still feeling all kinds of mixed up about it, but right now, he just wants to see Connor and maybe... maybe they can sort it out face to face. Maybe they can figure out something. Sean wants to know more about Connor, sure, and he wants to prove Connor wrong, that Sean's not going to run away no matter what his history is. But the thing is, Sean likes him, period. Connor doesn't owe him answers.
Liking Connor never had a condition on it.]
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He can't tell Sean not to come though. What's more, he doesn't want to tell him not to.]
It's another building closer to the tower itself.
You can summon a car from the parking level and it'll take you wherever you want to go around here.
They're equipped with GPS and stuff so it should be easy but if you need help, Chloe is still connected.
[It's cold outside, just starting to snow, but the inside of the car would be warm. It's a strange futuristic version of the kind of driverless cars already out there on the road for bigger corporations. It pops up a display on the tablet seated in the dash, giving Sean a variety of destinations in the complex including the medical center and the tower proper. Chloe is also available to ask for assistance on the screen, via a little triangular icon.
The hospital won't look all that different from the habitation center from the putside, smooth and white and featureless but more lived in on the inside. It's nice as far as hospitals go, just quiet and rather lacking in human occupants.
And sitting at a front, high shelved reception desk, is a woman that looks very much like the avatar of Chloe, just more natural. She looks up at the movement of Sean approaching.]
Hello again, Mr. O'Malley.
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What was it like, growing up in the shadow of that thing? In the village Sean grew up in, there weren't any buildings bigger than two stories. He was never dwarfed by anything, except adults, and maybe a church or two when they went far afield for special occasions. His world had always been a perfect size for Sean. But there wasn't a person alive whose world would feel properly sized with that thing looming over them.
The tower has an alien feel to it. So does everything else, from the building Sean was in, to the hospital. They all have that same strange sensation to them, like they're part of a film set rather than places that people are meant to stay at.
The real sunrise is seeing Chloe in person, and though Sean's feeling nervous and anxious, he can't help but smile in relief when he sees her.]
Chloe! It's good seeing you in the flesh! Or- well, I suppose whatever it is you're made up of, huh? Are you always at the hospital then, or just tonight since Connor's in here?
[Right. Connor. His face falls into a more serious look.]
Can you take me up to see Connor? Or just point the way? I'm not so bad with directions. I just need to know where I'm headed to.
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[Her smile is bright in that customer service kind of way, but her voice is more natural, less modulated than the CGI avatar's. She lifts a hand and shows him her palm, letting her skin seemingly slip back from her fingertips at the question of what she's made of. It looks like shining white plastic, with a membrane over it, presumably what her skin is layered over. It resumes its natural-looking state a moment later as she stands. She's rather tall for a young woman, probably by design.]
I can take you to him. He was still awake when we checked last. Please.
[She gestures to the edge of the desk before stepping around it, then leads the way down one of the nearby hallways.]
To answer your earlier question, yes, I am always here. There are others like me that attend the various needs of the company and its staff. I'm not the Chloe you've been talking to, but we do share information across a unified network, and we do know of you between ourselves.
[She pauses at one of the doors off the hall they've been walking down as she spoke, and presses her hand, once more devoid of skin, to a panel similar to that outside Sean's apartment. She steps back to let him in to see Connor sitting up, looking tired and in need of a shower, and possibly a cup of coffee and a cigarette. He looks around with a soft frown, though it turns to an unsteady smile when the door closes. His voice is just as tired, and very quiet, even in the dully humming silence of the room.]
Hey, stranger.
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[But before he can get distracted by anything else, he and Chloe are on their way to see Connor. The really weird part is that this isn't the Chloe he's been talking to, which is... really odd. They're like... they're like identical twins. They look the same, but they're not the same. But since they'r siblings, they gossip to each other. Well it's not that different than a family when you think about it...
Connor looks so tired and just run down. Sean turns and says quickly to Chloe-] Thanks.
[And then he walks over to see Connor, grabbing a chair to drag close to sit on. Sean returns the smile with a small one of his own, and sits by Connor.]
Hey... you uh. You look terrible. I hope whatever they're giving you for the pain is nice.
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I can feel it but I'm a little too high to care right now I guess.
I was going to come and see you tomorrow morning before I left, you know. [He feels the need to point that out, now that Sean is sitting there looking at him like things were ok again. He knows they're not.]
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